Arete (arete) wrote,

Thoughts from Ashleigh III

I don't know what to say.

She's in reach after so many months of searching, of wondering if she's alive, wondering if she was whole, and she's in reach... and I dare not touch.

I dare not touch. I dare not reach out. I dare not ask. I dare not. Not. NOT! (the pencil etches hard into the paper)

All I've wanted for the past few months is just to see her, and now that I do, i just don't know what to do. She questions her memory just as I have questioned mine, and... it seems neither of us knows who we really were or are.

My outburst at her didn't help matters much either. My emotions got the best of me, and yet I don't want to make apologies for it either, well, other than to Branwen for interrupting her. I remember loving her, even if the memories are not that clear. That memory is strong enough that I needed to know that she was okay, that she was as safe as anyone might be in this world. And now that I know...

I do want more, I would like to work towards some relationship with Sydni... but I can live with knowing that's she's okay. I can live with her walking away from me, as long as I know she's safe. I want more, but I will live with her decision, no matter what happens.

No matter how much my heart hurts right now, it's her decision.
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