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Quotes I Found XI

This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real emergency, you would all be dead by now.

I don't get even, I get odder.

My inferiority complex is not as big as yours

Let's pretend I'm naive and weirdness abounds.

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Quotes I Found IX

The worst thing about censorship is XXXXXXXXXX

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective

Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research

Age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time

What if this weren't a hypothetical question?

All generalizations are incorrect, including this one

Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate

Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense

Quotes I Found VIII

I don't see you, so don't pretend you're there

Tell the truth and run

He who hesitates is last

Moral victories don't count

Smile! The illuminati are watching

Everything is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

A smith and Wesson beats four aces

I don't suffer from insanity, I revel in it.

Quotes I Found VII

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed

Sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

If we do not change out direction we are likely to end up where we are headed

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic

Decadence is it's own reward

Organize for anarchy!

Help! The paranoids are out to get me!

Quotes I Found VI

Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I am a Rocket Scientist!

Entropy was just a concept, until I got a cat!

The fact that no one understands you does NOT make you an Artist!

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be Evil.

ALPHA FEMALE

CARPE BANDWIDTH!

Remember when this [Christian fish] wasn't a WARNING LABEL?

Life's a Witch... and then you fly!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. Death hates that.

Anarchy - It's not the law, it's just a good idea

Quotes I Found V

Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.

Sona si Latine loqueris! [translation: Honk if you speak Latin!]

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? [Latin equivalent of the infamous woodchuck question]

I get along with God just fine. It's his fan clubs that I can't stand.

All around me I see Chaos, Panic and Disorder. At last, my work here is done!

PARTY SKYCLAD!

Jesus loves you. I don't. Now, BACK OFF!

Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

This space intentionally left blank

I'm not really a bitch. I've just had PMS for 30 years.

Qoutes I Found IV

We've got ENOUGH Youth, what we NEED is a Fountain of SMART!

Where there's a will, I want to be in it!

Out of mind - Back in 5 minutes

I get plenty of exercise just pushing my luck!

Why suffer from insanity when you can revel in it?

"Normal" is a setting on my washing machine.

Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.

Leave Earth Now - Ask Me How

ALL MEN ARE ANIMALS! but if you can train them, they make good pets...

In case of Rapture, can I have your car?

Quotes I Found III

Friends let you hide at their place. Real friends let you hide bodies.

Everything I really needed to know, I learned in sniper school

REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT If it was hard to write, it should be impossible to understand!

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT - Can't remember why...

Omnipotent Omniscient Omnibenevolent - Pick two.

If we can put a man on the moon, why not all of them?
? * (I don't wanna get rid of them! I wanna play with them! ^_^)

People are more passionately opposed to wearing fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than bikers.

I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.

You'd be like this, too, if they dropped a house on your sister!

Freedom of Religion means ALL Religions

Quotes I Found II

My kid swindled your honor student at the Ferengi College of Business, where students learn to profit from more than just mistakes.

I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich

First they burn books then they burn people

B.S. (Phys): Why does it work? B.S. (Engr): How does it work? B.A. (Acctg): How much will it cost? B.A. (Arts) You want fries with that?

He's YOUR God. They're YOUR rules. YOU burn in Hell!

Who are you to question why your god doesn't want me to believe in him?

If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting!

No job too easy - No fee too large - Dragons Rescued - Virgins Slain

Only lawyers get to be judges, and that's the (F)LAW!

Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding

Quotes I Found

Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee

The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs.

So many men, so little reason to sleep with any of them

The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars!

I HAVE seen the truth, and it makes no sense

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!

Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup.

Those who can, Teach. Those who cannot teach ARE RUNNING THE SCHOOLS!

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!

She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.

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