I've been waiting for him my whole life.
I've needed him since I entered junior high.
I've never met him.
Sometimes I walk into the shadows and wonder how I came to be at home in them.
I was born a daughter of the Light; of the open blue skies and the golden sun above, of the hopeful dreams and the joyous laughter. I was born that way. I am no longer of the Light.
Mere mortals cry about the Light and Dark as if they are simply Good and Evil. It is not that simple, it can never be that simple. The dark makes it easier to commit atrocities, yes; the dark also allows love, real LOVE, freer rein. Light may shine with golden hope, but a smile can hide the pain inside the soul.
Where once I would have walked among the Light Soldiers, shoulder-to-shoulder with my brothers and sisters, I glide in the shadows, not knowing who to trust in the battles I face.
I am not evil.
And all the Light Soldiers are not... Good is not the term... amiable? Preferring to avoid selfish greed... Christian terms are never good for describing something beyond their ken; it is like using mathematics to explain why I think Sean Connery is hot for a man over fifty.
Sometimes I just feel the need to write, even when there is nothing to write on. I love stories; I love the feel of the words in my mind, creating pictures, sounds that can make me laugh or cry. Sometimes I want to create those stories, but I just can't get them down well enough. It doesn't help that I can't get down real descriptions unless its in first person, otherwise it's all dialogue. But I do like dialogue...
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
A procrastinator's work is never done.
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
God grant me the serinity to accept what I can not change, The courage to change those that I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people who piss me off along the way.
Instant Human (Just Add Coffee)
The more I learn about terrorrism the more I understand the phone companies.
The latest studies show three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
Talk is cheep because the supply exceeds the demand.
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ...
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real emergency, you would all be dead by now.
I don't get even, I get odder.
My inferiority complex is not as big as yours
Let's pretend I'm naive and weirdness abounds.
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?