October 15th, 2001

unkind, why, fate

(no subject)

When I was young, I dreamed of running away.

But I read, and I learned. Running away--from home or a fight--never solved anything. Your problems either followed you, or you had worst ones show up. I'd rather stick with the ones that I knew how to fight.

So I waited for college.

I wanted to go far away, far far away. Cross country, if I could do it. But I couldn't. So I'm only an hour and half away by car, instead of an six to eight hour plane ride away. But I limit visits to only four hours on Fridays, every so often, then come back to my 'home'--my dorm, but I do call it my home.

I have to keep telling myself I'm not running away, just merely walking away from that life. My parents might not see me after I graduate with my bachelor degrees, will definitely not see me if I go on to grad school. I want my own life, and I can't have that with them hanging on, demanding--no, make that DEMANDING--I do as they say, and live my life according to their rules. My parents are liberal culturally, but live conservatively.

And I am not.

I dream of a life in love, not necessarily married, and not necessarily male. I just want someone to love me as I am, not despite of who I am.
  • Current Music
    Mindy McCready - A Girl's Gotta Do
unkind, why, fate

Possible drawing pic

I really have little talent, but my dad is going to buy me a drawing tablet for the compy, so I'm going to try...

A girl walking forward towards the viewer. Explosions all around her, she grabs a rock from the explosion as it flies in front of her. Either a cloak or trench coat. Long hair--maybe purple, or black? Eyes glow strange color--not red or gold, something else. Her face is a concentration of determined hate.
  • Current Music
    Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal
unkind, why, fate

Fic snippet: Carerica & Sinyan

Rest and relaxation is rare in my life. I rarely get the chance to just sit and allow the scenery to seep into my senses. But I had just beaten a rather powerful enemy, and the rest are regrouping and planning anew. Time to just relax and recharge.

Sunsets are always lovely--blood red colors without having to shed the blood.

I lean back against the cliff, viewing the valley in a slow glance, before going back to the sunset. A sudden disperse of air, and then I sensed my godly brother by my side. I didn't want to fight, so I just kept quiet. He didn't speak either, and we both got the impression the other just wanted to bask in the other's presence.

We love each other.. He wants more than I can give though, at least for now. But sometimes, it's not about love between man and woman, but between siblings and friends. Protection for no reason then that you should be under my protection, and that type of relationship.

It's nice having friends to share sunsets with.
  • Current Music
    Heart - How Can I Refuse