November 9th, 2001

unkind, why, fate

(no subject)

I want a man in hot leather
I want a man in a kilt
I want a man who fights
Who I can respect
And still think is a sex object
Is this so wrong?

I want his eyes so blue
His hair as dark as night
With highlights of blue
Like the a twilight sky
Fuck that!

I want a man who can face me
Say, "I'm not afraid of you
I'm not afraid of what
You'll make me become
Because lover,
I'll change you too.
I'll change you too!"
unkind, why, fate

Gundam Wing AU: Mothers of Soldiers

We aren't and never were like them.

Oh, Duo and Quatre come closest, they do know how to enjoy themselves from time to time, and try to get the others to join in, but they aren't like us.

Maybe it's because they're boys, and we're girls. The bonds between them are different--all competition, whereas ours was a mix of competition and compromise... you know, girl things.

We fought as they fought, but we laughed and shrieked where they only smiled grimly, or in Duo's case, faked smiled. I am beginning to truly hate that smile.

We took time out to bond; you'll protect another girl's back much better when she's helped paint your toenails, and told you all the secrets of her first crush, and when you held her after she found out... anything that made her happy or sad. We shared everything, from love to advice to dreams to money to, finally in the end, a friendship that lasted longer than true love, because it was true love, the true love of sisters.

And they still are caught up in just fighting. But what are they fighting for? We gave each other dreams--my children looking at me in love, Deux' ballet school opening to the public with Chee's gymnastics school right next door, Trois singing in a nightclub, and Wusu raising a gaggle of giggles, otherwise known as a pack of girls, to be ninjas.

Who are our sons now? Do they stand before me? Or are these merely the ghosts beside them, of whom they used to be, and never will again.
unkind, why, fate

(no subject)

When I have a dream
Do you dream it too?
When I cry
Do you cry out too?
When I wonder
Where should I go in my life
Do you do the same?

We are the same
But farther away from each other
In mind, soul, body
Than the greatest enemies
That walked the earth
Yet you know me.

How do you know me?!?
Only he...
Could know...
But you can't...
You aren't...
He isn't you...
Are you?!?

Stop hiding from me
And I'll stop hiding from you
And maybe
In the end of this endless waltz
Of pain
Of love
Of grief
We can figure out how to dance again.

And no more waltzes...
unkind, why, fate


I've started doing it again.

Dampening down the screams. Dampening down the screams that echo through my mind, calling out in pain and misery I've longed denied existence, let alone purging.

But they are still there