To anyone reading these postings -- I AM NOT SUICIDAL! Got a life plan, and death is not a part of it. I'm channeling some story character's angst, using my own words. Usually I just say it outloud, but I really like the poems I write, even if they are disturbing. 'Cause maybe if I disturb some people, they will recognize that someone near them (NOT ME) is hurting, even if they have their heads too far stuck up their asses to really notice.