Arete (arete) wrote,

Sorority Rushing and My Feelings

I arrived on Sat to do UK sorority rush. On Sun we visited all thirteen houses, including Alpha Xi Delta, the house that is restarting and would drop out of formal rushing for the remainder of the week. On mon, today, we were susposed to find out which houses we had been invited back to, and to choose which, up to ten, that we would go back to over Mon and Tues.

I didn't get invited back to any of the remaining twelve houses.

When Jackie, my Rho Chi, told me this, I was simply shocked--the mild kind, not the type that goes for serious accidents or unexpected death. And now, nearly twelve hours later, I'm still trying to figure out what I feel. I don't really feel bad, but is that because I still have a chance at Alpha Xi Delta and at the engineering sorority, Phi Sigma Rho? Or did I not truly want to be a part of the greek system? Did none of the houses really call out to me?

Maybe it's because I'm going to have a full plate anyway, with a double major in Eng. Maybe because I plan on working out and watching my diet. Or because I said I was planning on joining two, possible three clubs.

I may just be not the type of girl that they want as their sister. I will not change my basic personality; I will tweak the facets, but I am content with what I am right now, as long as I continue to grow within myself. I do well within groups, but I like being an observor, or at least am more comfortable within that role, while sometimes wishing to be the center of attention.

I like to think I will find my niche, somehow. My floormates and Rho Chi group like me, so I know that I will find friends.

Where will the next four or five years take me?

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